Day 22: Your Favorite City
I'm not much of a city girl. I'm country born and raised ... mind you this doesn't mean I like country music, or tractors, or farming, or boots, or anything else hillbilly ... but I do like small town Saturday nights, close friends I had the advantage of growing up with, my horse, having a backyard, going barefoot in the summer, and living within walking distance of my family. I haven't been a lot of places, but one city that I've known and loved is Columbus. Columbus holds a lot of firsts and memories for me and because of that it will always be my favorite city. Here I am standing in front of the arena to show horses at State Fair in Columbus. I got to show three times at State Fair :) one of the best experiences of my life.
This is in the fall of my freshmen year at Otterbein College ... one of my first experiences of being in Columbus all by myself :)
Columbus will always hold the best memories for me because of the four years I spent there in college. When life gets difficult I revisit those memories and remember that Columbus is only two hours away and I can actually visit the City I love and the people I love anytime I want. :)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
“She's a fiery redhead" :)
Day 21: A picture of yourself
I love Christmas Morning :) and occasionally dressing up
Graduating Me :) ...
Now all I need is that job
I love Christmas Morning :) and occasionally dressing up
Graduating Me :) ...
Now all I need is that job
Thursday, February 24, 2011
"Titles are but nicknames, and every nickname is a title." ~Thomas Paine
Day 20: Nicknames
The truly great thing about my name is that it is already a nickname. My real name is Elizabeth, but everyone calls me Bethey. My Mom wanted to name me after my Aunt Beth, but she didn't want anyone to call me Liz, so the minute I came out she started calling me Bethey. Not Elizabeth (too old fashioned), not Liz (because she didn't like it), and not just Beth (because there had to be a difference between me and my Aunt Beth). I've always been Bethey. My Grandpa (the one that I lost, that I miss every day) started calling me Miss when I was little and umm cough "snotty" cough I would argue it was just my Sass exerting itself in my childhood form, but whatever, either way ... I would get snotty/sassy and he would call me Miss. That soon turned into Miss Bethey and that's to this day what my family still calls me. I love my Miss Bethey identity, not only because it suits me, but because every time someone calls me that I remember my Grandpa and I smile :)
The truly great thing about my name is that it is already a nickname. My real name is Elizabeth, but everyone calls me Bethey. My Mom wanted to name me after my Aunt Beth, but she didn't want anyone to call me Liz, so the minute I came out she started calling me Bethey. Not Elizabeth (too old fashioned), not Liz (because she didn't like it), and not just Beth (because there had to be a difference between me and my Aunt Beth). I've always been Bethey. My Grandpa (the one that I lost, that I miss every day) started calling me Miss when I was little and umm cough "snotty" cough I would argue it was just my Sass exerting itself in my childhood form, but whatever, either way ... I would get snotty/sassy and he would call me Miss. That soon turned into Miss Bethey and that's to this day what my family still calls me. I love my Miss Bethey identity, not only because it suits me, but because every time someone calls me that I remember my Grandpa and I smile :)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” ~Dr. Seuss
Day 19: Something you Miss :(
Can a person go through a day without missing several things at once? I find myself missing a lot of little things all at once, all the time ... I am a bit of a nostalgic though, but it's hard to not long for what once was when what is isn't as happy as one would like. I often miss Christmas, sunshine, showing my horse, twirling in high school, high school, nap time, my cousins being babies, my 21st birthday, my Dog being a Puppy, my body in high school, my long long hair, Thanksgivings with my entire extended family ... the list could go on ... but for the sake of this post I'll concentrate on just a few
I miss teaching. I desperately want my own classroom, my own students, my own lessons, and a place to go everyday to do what I love.
This is from student teaching :) I loved student teaching ... even though it was exhausting and frustrating and thrilling all at the same time I loved every minute of it ... especially now that I'm not doing it anymore I want it back so bad. I would give just about anything to teach again ... so ya know after my desperate rant if you hear of any Ohio openings shoot me a comment :)
I miss the BSC. This is a catch-22 of course because when I was at college I missed all my loves from home and my family ... now that I'm home I miss the women I love that are still back in the college area.
Here they are ... the women who kept me sane those four impossible college years ... I miss them each and every day.
Most of all, I miss my Grandpa Thomas. This summer will be two years since he passed away and I still find myself wishing I could drive ten minutes to his house so I can get one of his famous hugs.
He was the healer of broken hearts and sunburns and taught people how to tie their shoes and drive cars. He and my Grandma were the example of love, honesty, and marriage and showed all of us by example how to be kind, compassionate, loving people. I miss him. When I had a bad day, he could always fix it and when I accomplished something, he was the first to celebrate with me. I like to think that he's watching me always and that he understands my heartache over not having a job, but would applaud my decision of family over work. He was a great man and the best Grandfather I could ever have.
Can a person go through a day without missing several things at once? I find myself missing a lot of little things all at once, all the time ... I am a bit of a nostalgic though, but it's hard to not long for what once was when what is isn't as happy as one would like. I often miss Christmas, sunshine, showing my horse, twirling in high school, high school, nap time, my cousins being babies, my 21st birthday, my Dog being a Puppy, my body in high school, my long long hair, Thanksgivings with my entire extended family ... the list could go on ... but for the sake of this post I'll concentrate on just a few
I miss teaching. I desperately want my own classroom, my own students, my own lessons, and a place to go everyday to do what I love.
This is from student teaching :) I loved student teaching ... even though it was exhausting and frustrating and thrilling all at the same time I loved every minute of it ... especially now that I'm not doing it anymore I want it back so bad. I would give just about anything to teach again ... so ya know after my desperate rant if you hear of any Ohio openings shoot me a comment :)
I miss the BSC. This is a catch-22 of course because when I was at college I missed all my loves from home and my family ... now that I'm home I miss the women I love that are still back in the college area.
Here they are ... the women who kept me sane those four impossible college years ... I miss them each and every day.
Most of all, I miss my Grandpa Thomas. This summer will be two years since he passed away and I still find myself wishing I could drive ten minutes to his house so I can get one of his famous hugs.
He was the healer of broken hearts and sunburns and taught people how to tie their shoes and drive cars. He and my Grandma were the example of love, honesty, and marriage and showed all of us by example how to be kind, compassionate, loving people. I miss him. When I had a bad day, he could always fix it and when I accomplished something, he was the first to celebrate with me. I like to think that he's watching me always and that he understands my heartache over not having a job, but would applaud my decision of family over work. He was a great man and the best Grandfather I could ever have.
Monday, February 21, 2011
“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.”
Day 18: Something you regret
So, I suck at blogging on the weekends, but everyone has priorities and my family and friends take precedence over the blog. I've been having a hard time with the blog lately and I'm not sure if it's because I'm a sucky writer, or I just don't like the prompts, or because when I answer these prompts I have to dig way deeper into myself than I really want to. But, in the spirit of finishing the challenge I set out to do here we go with Day 18.
What everyone wants to hear is that I regret nothing, right? People like to pretend that regret doesn't exist and that everyone is ultimately happy with the decisions made. Let's be real. In keeping with the honesty I've been bestowing on you ... of course I have regrets and of course I hide them because talking about them makes people feel bad. I try on a daily basis to put them behind me because I don't want them to hinder my current life, but the decisions are always there and always something I have to deal with.
I just can't put them out in cyber space. There's a song that says, "you're the one that you gotta live with" ... I made my choices and whether I regret them or not, I have to live with them. This is me living with them and I'll be honest with you (the "you" that I'm not sure are really out there but if you are I'm trying for you) I have regrets, some days big ones that come out to haunt me, but I'm trying to deal with them. Hopefully, this blog is helping ... but one can never be sure.
So, I suck at blogging on the weekends, but everyone has priorities and my family and friends take precedence over the blog. I've been having a hard time with the blog lately and I'm not sure if it's because I'm a sucky writer, or I just don't like the prompts, or because when I answer these prompts I have to dig way deeper into myself than I really want to. But, in the spirit of finishing the challenge I set out to do here we go with Day 18.
What everyone wants to hear is that I regret nothing, right? People like to pretend that regret doesn't exist and that everyone is ultimately happy with the decisions made. Let's be real. In keeping with the honesty I've been bestowing on you ... of course I have regrets and of course I hide them because talking about them makes people feel bad. I try on a daily basis to put them behind me because I don't want them to hinder my current life, but the decisions are always there and always something I have to deal with.
I just can't put them out in cyber space. There's a song that says, "you're the one that you gotta live with" ... I made my choices and whether I regret them or not, I have to live with them. This is me living with them and I'll be honest with you (the "you" that I'm not sure are really out there but if you are I'm trying for you) I have regrets, some days big ones that come out to haunt me, but I'm trying to deal with them. Hopefully, this blog is helping ... but one can never be sure.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
I'm really failing on this quote thing these last couple days. This one is a hard one to latch a quote on to though. There are a couple things I'm looking forward to ... right I know breaking the rules again.
Anyways, Long term I am always looking forward to getting my own classroom, my first teaching job, and the opportunity to start doing what I love. I keep working towards and I am anxious for when it will actually happen.
Immediately, however, I am looking forward to the completion of the redo of my room. I have the world's greatest Mom and when I had to move home after school, she promised she would change my "12 year old I really like purple and green and pictures and glitter" room into a college graduate "study." She's staying true to her word and my room is in the midst of being redone. It's almost there and I'm getting more and more excited by the day :) I can't wait to have it done!
Here are some pictures of what it looked like going in
Yeah ... I had ugly paneling too ... gross
I'll let you know what it looks like when we're done!
Anyways, Long term I am always looking forward to getting my own classroom, my first teaching job, and the opportunity to start doing what I love. I keep working towards and I am anxious for when it will actually happen.
Immediately, however, I am looking forward to the completion of the redo of my room. I have the world's greatest Mom and when I had to move home after school, she promised she would change my "12 year old I really like purple and green and pictures and glitter" room into a college graduate "study." She's staying true to her word and my room is in the midst of being redone. It's almost there and I'm getting more and more excited by the day :) I can't wait to have it done!
Here are some pictures of what it looked like going in
Yeah ... I had ugly paneling too ... gross
I'll let you know what it looks like when we're done!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Day 16: My Dream House
Shoot. I can't even come up with a quote for this one. A dream house? I currently occupy a room in my parent's home and see no end to that ... so ... dream house? How about let's just get a job, pay off some loans, and then consider a house? I do, however, have some ideas about what would go inside a house if I can actually get one.
I want an office. A place that I can decorate as I please, keep my books, and grade my papers. I want built in shelves because I have a lot (a lot) of books.
I have other ideas for various other rooms but ya know I'll need that job first. I do know that I want the space next to my parent's house on my family's land and I'll build my own house with all the rooms reflecting me and the person I'm sharing my life with. Until I can do all that, though, I will enjoy my room at my parent's house :)
I want an office. A place that I can decorate as I please, keep my books, and grade my papers. I want built in shelves because I have a lot (a lot) of books.
I have other ideas for various other rooms but ya know I'll need that job first. I do know that I want the space next to my parent's house on my family's land and I'll build my own house with all the rooms reflecting me and the person I'm sharing my life with. Until I can do all that, though, I will enjoy my room at my parent's house :)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
“Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.”
Day 15: A Bible Verse
Phillippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I believe in a higher power and the higher power that I build my belief upon is loving, full of mercy, full of grace, forgiving, and always offers me peace. This quote saved my life. It kept me from full blown anxiety attacks on more than one occasion and it helped me out of the darkest place I've ever been. More than helping me out of that place ... it also showed me the way to move forward. Whenever I worry (which I often do) or get anxious (which is one of the cornerstones of my life) I turn to God and this verse, so I remember, I am not alone ... and even though I don't always understand God does ... and I'm good with that.
Phillippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
I believe in a higher power and the higher power that I build my belief upon is loving, full of mercy, full of grace, forgiving, and always offers me peace. This quote saved my life. It kept me from full blown anxiety attacks on more than one occasion and it helped me out of the darkest place I've ever been. More than helping me out of that place ... it also showed me the way to move forward. Whenever I worry (which I often do) or get anxious (which is one of the cornerstones of my life) I turn to God and this verse, so I remember, I am not alone ... and even though I don't always understand God does ... and I'm good with that.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.” ~Sophocles
Day 14: A Picture that you Love
I will play by the rules today and only use "a" picture that I love ... but I won't pretend that this decision was easy!
This picture is of my Grandma and Grandpa on the day they got married. My Grandma and Grandpa were a "his, hers, and ours" family. In the picture with them are my Aunt Debbie, Aunt Beth, and my mom is the baby at the bottom. I love this picture because it symbolizes to me what love really is. My Grandma and Grandpa took a chance on each other even when love and family and marriage didn't work out for them the first time. Even though they had 9 kids in between the two of them (and eventually they would have my Aunt Dee Dee to make it an even 10) and not a lot of money, they were in love. They took the chance on each other and married despite all the reasons people told them not to. Not only did they take that leap of faith, but they fought to make it work even when things weren't easy. My Grandpa passed away almost two years ago and at that time him and my Grandma had been married 46 years. They are my model for true love and what it means to love someone even when it's hard and the glitz and glamor of being in love fades away. They taught me to love and to love fiercely ... I will always be thankful to them for that most important life lesson.
I will play by the rules today and only use "a" picture that I love ... but I won't pretend that this decision was easy!
This picture is of my Grandma and Grandpa on the day they got married. My Grandma and Grandpa were a "his, hers, and ours" family. In the picture with them are my Aunt Debbie, Aunt Beth, and my mom is the baby at the bottom. I love this picture because it symbolizes to me what love really is. My Grandma and Grandpa took a chance on each other even when love and family and marriage didn't work out for them the first time. Even though they had 9 kids in between the two of them (and eventually they would have my Aunt Dee Dee to make it an even 10) and not a lot of money, they were in love. They took the chance on each other and married despite all the reasons people told them not to. Not only did they take that leap of faith, but they fought to make it work even when things weren't easy. My Grandpa passed away almost two years ago and at that time him and my Grandma had been married 46 years. They are my model for true love and what it means to love someone even when it's hard and the glitz and glamor of being in love fades away. They taught me to love and to love fiercely ... I will always be thankful to them for that most important life lesson.
Monday, February 14, 2011
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” ~C.S. Lewis
Day 13: Goals
I apologize for getting behind ... I went to see my long lost college lovelies this weekend and they took up all my time ... best friends over blogs in my world. Anyways, I'm back and raring to go.
So, goals. Well I fully believe in the quote I titled this with and probably come up with new goals and hopes and dreams everyday, especially since I am a dreamer who likes to live in books and TV shows. I do have some long term goals, however, that I've been persistent about since I was little.
1. I will be a great teacher. Once I find a big girl job, where someone takes a chance on me, and gives me my own classroom ... I will be a phenomenal teacher. I will be the teacher that people remember, that students talk about, and that everyone is sad to see retire. I know I have this in me and I will use my talent to inspire students and help them grow into competent adults. I will settle for being an extraordinary substitute teacher until I get the job, but mark my words once I do get that job ... I will be amazing.
2. I will get my doctorate someday. I have wanted to be Dr. Bethey ever since I was a little girl and I will eventually make that happen. I haven't really decided if I want to get my doctorate in education or English, but either way it will happen. I am smart and I am proud of myself for being smart, but don't worry I will use my powers for good and get my doctorate to help people.
3. I will find the kind of happiness that some people can only dream of. I will fall in love and have the life that I want and find extreme happiness along the way. I usually find a way to get what I want and this is no different. I will not sit around and wait on happiness or life ... I will make my own way and create it.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”
Day 11: What you Believe in
This is the worst prompt I think I've ever been handed and I went through four years of college. If whoever wrote this challenge out was an education major they would fail the assessment portion of the class, because this prompt is too vague and extremely ambiguous. In the spirit of completing this challenge, though, I will attempt to answer it.
I believe in education. Not just in teaching students reading, writing, and arithmetic, but more so in teaching students character. I especially believe in high school education, because I think those are the students who need lessons in character the most. I see so many students in a day who mirror their parents bad actions, or regurgitate their parents awful beliefs, or are simply invisible to their parents all together. It hurts me to know that some of these students have gone their entire life without knowing their worth or possibility or potential. That's my job and one I won't dive into without being fully committed. Walking into a classroom requires me to be ready to not only educate my students on reading and writing, but to educate them on who they could and should be. I believe in teachers and the power they have. I believe in the power of education.
I believe that family and friends that become family are the most important things in this world. I would be nowhere without the people that have loved and supported me always, they are the most important things. I believe in the power of having people that will surround you and be there for you, even if they don't agree with you. I believe in the healing power of not being alone ... of always having people to turn to. I believe in my family, biological and acquired.
I believe in God. I believe that he is loving, forgiving, full of grace, and offers me mercy always. I refuse to believe in the really big, horrible, scare tactics of religion. I don't think someone who is in charge of all the people in the world doesn't have compassion for them and I don't think that this someone would want all those people to be afraid of him. But, I do believe in the awesome, healing, strengthening power of God.
I believe in love. I believe in all different types of love. I believe in the kind of unfailing love I have for my babies; my horse and my puppy, and the type of unconditional love they have back for me. I believe in the kind of love that has my family behind me during every step of my life. I believe in the binding love between me and my friends. The kind of love that brings us together when we need each other no matter how far apart we are. I believe in the type of love that bombards you, rushes in on you, and leaves you breathless. I believe in the type of forever love that surprises you, but then it becomes a part of you and you can't live without that love. I believe in love that lasts 50 years and it's never easy, but at the end of the day it's always worth fighting for. I believe in the power of loving and being loved.
Finally, I'm working on believing in myself, first and foremost. I found the above quote and I realized it's perfect. I want to be true to myself in every situation and have the type of easy confidence that makes me shine. I'm working towards that, but it's really easy to believe in other things before you trust yourself enough to believe in you.
This is the worst prompt I think I've ever been handed and I went through four years of college. If whoever wrote this challenge out was an education major they would fail the assessment portion of the class, because this prompt is too vague and extremely ambiguous. In the spirit of completing this challenge, though, I will attempt to answer it.
I believe in education. Not just in teaching students reading, writing, and arithmetic, but more so in teaching students character. I especially believe in high school education, because I think those are the students who need lessons in character the most. I see so many students in a day who mirror their parents bad actions, or regurgitate their parents awful beliefs, or are simply invisible to their parents all together. It hurts me to know that some of these students have gone their entire life without knowing their worth or possibility or potential. That's my job and one I won't dive into without being fully committed. Walking into a classroom requires me to be ready to not only educate my students on reading and writing, but to educate them on who they could and should be. I believe in teachers and the power they have. I believe in the power of education.
I believe that family and friends that become family are the most important things in this world. I would be nowhere without the people that have loved and supported me always, they are the most important things. I believe in the power of having people that will surround you and be there for you, even if they don't agree with you. I believe in the healing power of not being alone ... of always having people to turn to. I believe in my family, biological and acquired.
I believe in God. I believe that he is loving, forgiving, full of grace, and offers me mercy always. I refuse to believe in the really big, horrible, scare tactics of religion. I don't think someone who is in charge of all the people in the world doesn't have compassion for them and I don't think that this someone would want all those people to be afraid of him. But, I do believe in the awesome, healing, strengthening power of God.
I believe in love. I believe in all different types of love. I believe in the kind of unfailing love I have for my babies; my horse and my puppy, and the type of unconditional love they have back for me. I believe in the kind of love that has my family behind me during every step of my life. I believe in the binding love between me and my friends. The kind of love that brings us together when we need each other no matter how far apart we are. I believe in the type of love that bombards you, rushes in on you, and leaves you breathless. I believe in the type of forever love that surprises you, but then it becomes a part of you and you can't live without that love. I believe in love that lasts 50 years and it's never easy, but at the end of the day it's always worth fighting for. I believe in the power of loving and being loved.
Finally, I'm working on believing in myself, first and foremost. I found the above quote and I realized it's perfect. I want to be true to myself in every situation and have the type of easy confidence that makes me shine. I'm working towards that, but it's really easy to believe in other things before you trust yourself enough to believe in you.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
"Sure, Just let me hold you for a few more minutes. That's what's gonna fix me." ~Lucas Scott
Day 11: Favorite TV shows
The above quote is from my all time favorite TV show next to Gilmore Girls. I watched Gilmore Girls religiously until it went of the air and then my mom bought me every season of it for Christmas. My college roommates will tell you that they can now sing the theme song to that show and know who every character is.
Who could not love a show with two beautiful women, who love each other completely, are so smart, and so funny? When I started watching this show it was for the banter of conversation back and forth between them. They manage to make so many references to pop culture, but don't sound stupid doing so. Then I fell for them because Rory (the daughter) loves to read like me and both mother and daughter can't exist without coffee, also like me. Finally, I fell for their characters. I wanted to see them happy just like they were a part of my family. I'm sad they don't make any new ones, but they keep me company on DVD when I need someone to make me smile.
Back to the title quote. That is from my all time favorite character, Lucas Scott, on my -now- all time favorite show, One Tree Hill. Not only is it from my favorite character, but he is speaking to my other favorite character, Peyton Sawyer, and the both of them just so happen to be my all time favorite love story! Did you catch all those favorites?
Lucas loved Peyton ever since they were little and even though they had a hard time being in the same place emotionally at the same time (spoiler alert) they still managed to get here:
MARRIED with a BABY :) and they all lived happily every after :) *sigh* a girl can dream right. Anyways I love their love story and I would love to be swept off my feet by someone like Lucas Scott.
I've mentioned before that I'm a TV whore. That I watch heroic amounts of television ... so, trust me, those two aren't the only shows I watch, just the ones I'm obsessed with. Here's a run down of my TV driven week
Mondays: Gossip Girl and House
Tuesdays: One Tree Hill, Biggest Loser
Wednesdays: South Park, America's Next Top Model, and Criminal Minds
Thursdays: I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice (can't help it ... I am a girl and I'm not ashamed to put it out there) but I also like to record Its Always Sunny and The League and watch it later
Friday-Sunday: I don't have any shows I must watch, but this time is when I catch up on recorded shows like: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (the only trashy reality show I'm addicted to and I'm also not ashamed to admit that), What Not to Wear, and other E News things that tell me all about the celebs' lives.
Also, if I'm up early enough I will sit in front of the TV for an hour or two straight to watch Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets World ... love those and watched them every day of my childhood.
So those are my shows. It's ok to be a little frightened for my sanity now that you really know how much TV I watch, but it is what it is. I like other peoples' drama because then I don't have to concentrate on my own.
The above quote is from my all time favorite TV show next to Gilmore Girls. I watched Gilmore Girls religiously until it went of the air and then my mom bought me every season of it for Christmas. My college roommates will tell you that they can now sing the theme song to that show and know who every character is.
Who could not love a show with two beautiful women, who love each other completely, are so smart, and so funny? When I started watching this show it was for the banter of conversation back and forth between them. They manage to make so many references to pop culture, but don't sound stupid doing so. Then I fell for them because Rory (the daughter) loves to read like me and both mother and daughter can't exist without coffee, also like me. Finally, I fell for their characters. I wanted to see them happy just like they were a part of my family. I'm sad they don't make any new ones, but they keep me company on DVD when I need someone to make me smile.
Back to the title quote. That is from my all time favorite character, Lucas Scott, on my -now- all time favorite show, One Tree Hill. Not only is it from my favorite character, but he is speaking to my other favorite character, Peyton Sawyer, and the both of them just so happen to be my all time favorite love story! Did you catch all those favorites?
Lucas loved Peyton ever since they were little and even though they had a hard time being in the same place emotionally at the same time (spoiler alert) they still managed to get here:
MARRIED with a BABY :) and they all lived happily every after :) *sigh* a girl can dream right. Anyways I love their love story and I would love to be swept off my feet by someone like Lucas Scott.
I've mentioned before that I'm a TV whore. That I watch heroic amounts of television ... so, trust me, those two aren't the only shows I watch, just the ones I'm obsessed with. Here's a run down of my TV driven week
Mondays: Gossip Girl and House
Tuesdays: One Tree Hill, Biggest Loser
Wednesdays: South Park, America's Next Top Model, and Criminal Minds
Thursdays: I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice (can't help it ... I am a girl and I'm not ashamed to put it out there) but I also like to record Its Always Sunny and The League and watch it later
Friday-Sunday: I don't have any shows I must watch, but this time is when I catch up on recorded shows like: The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (the only trashy reality show I'm addicted to and I'm also not ashamed to admit that), What Not to Wear, and other E News things that tell me all about the celebs' lives.
Also, if I'm up early enough I will sit in front of the TV for an hour or two straight to watch Saved by the Bell and Boy Meets World ... love those and watched them every day of my childhood.
So those are my shows. It's ok to be a little frightened for my sanity now that you really know how much TV I watch, but it is what it is. I like other peoples' drama because then I don't have to concentrate on my own.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
“Always do what you are afraid to do.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
I am terrified of the dark. I will not sleep in the dark by myself, I will not walk in the dark by myself, and I'm not always a huge fan of driving in the dark by myself. If I have to park my car outside my garage and walk into my house by myself at night, I will literally grab my stuff and sprint to the door all the while singing to myself, because I am that afraid of whatever lurks in the dark. I think my fear of the dark leads into a bigger fear ... fear of what I cannot foresee. In the dark I can only guess what is going on around me, I can't see for certain, which leads me to not know what will happen next. I don't like not knowing what happens next. I've devoted myself to always anticipating the next step. I don't like not being in control of a situation, I don't like being unable to predict what happens next, and I don't like not being able to "see" the progression of my life. This is why the last year of my college career nearly killed me. I wigged. I was in the dark place almost every day of the last 3 months of my college career. I spent everyday worrying about not having a job when I graduated, having to move home, my relationship with my boyfriend, my relationship with my friends that I had to move away from, and mostly about my life after college. And you know what ... I would like to tell you that I've since realized that worrying gets you nowhere and that you can't control every situation and the only truly great things in life come in unexpected situations ... but I have not evolved that far. I can concede that worrying gets you nowhere ... except to a place where you learn to live on a lack of sleep and that your nails are constantly bitten down to the skin. I can concede that you can't control every situation; however, I'm still trying. I can tell you I know these things, but I still do them. I still sit up and worry about the job, and the boyfriend, and the friends, and now the money. I am still worried sick that I'll never get the life that I want. I still try to control every situation, I still try to predict what happens next, and I still try to anticipate every outcome of that prediction. Do I sound annoying to you? Because I annoy myself ... but the kicker is, I can't make myself stop. I'm so freaking scared of what I can't "see" that I'm driving myself crazy.
I'm taking great, big, scary steps to try and let this fear go. I'm trying to stop the worrying, obsessing, controlling behaviors. This blog is one step. As you can see it's a pretty slow process ... but at least I'm honest.
I am terrified of the dark. I will not sleep in the dark by myself, I will not walk in the dark by myself, and I'm not always a huge fan of driving in the dark by myself. If I have to park my car outside my garage and walk into my house by myself at night, I will literally grab my stuff and sprint to the door all the while singing to myself, because I am that afraid of whatever lurks in the dark. I think my fear of the dark leads into a bigger fear ... fear of what I cannot foresee. In the dark I can only guess what is going on around me, I can't see for certain, which leads me to not know what will happen next. I don't like not knowing what happens next. I've devoted myself to always anticipating the next step. I don't like not being in control of a situation, I don't like being unable to predict what happens next, and I don't like not being able to "see" the progression of my life. This is why the last year of my college career nearly killed me. I wigged. I was in the dark place almost every day of the last 3 months of my college career. I spent everyday worrying about not having a job when I graduated, having to move home, my relationship with my boyfriend, my relationship with my friends that I had to move away from, and mostly about my life after college. And you know what ... I would like to tell you that I've since realized that worrying gets you nowhere and that you can't control every situation and the only truly great things in life come in unexpected situations ... but I have not evolved that far. I can concede that worrying gets you nowhere ... except to a place where you learn to live on a lack of sleep and that your nails are constantly bitten down to the skin. I can concede that you can't control every situation; however, I'm still trying. I can tell you I know these things, but I still do them. I still sit up and worry about the job, and the boyfriend, and the friends, and now the money. I am still worried sick that I'll never get the life that I want. I still try to control every situation, I still try to predict what happens next, and I still try to anticipate every outcome of that prediction. Do I sound annoying to you? Because I annoy myself ... but the kicker is, I can't make myself stop. I'm so freaking scared of what I can't "see" that I'm driving myself crazy.
I'm taking great, big, scary steps to try and let this fear go. I'm trying to stop the worrying, obsessing, controlling behaviors. This blog is one step. As you can see it's a pretty slow process ... but at least I'm honest.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunny Days ... Chasing the Clouds Away
Day 9: A Picture of my friends
My friends ... I am so lucky. I am so very blessed to have friends from every place my life has taken me. Childhood friends, Home friends, College friends, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Family Friends ... my lucky list goes on. I hate that we all can't be in the same spot at once, but when we are together we make up for the distance. I found a quote that sums our relationship up:
“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”
Yep ... those are my friends ... the wonderful people I've been blessed to share my life with ... here they all are :)
My First Friend ... My Best Friend ... My Mommy. I owe everything I am to her. I love you.
My Favorite and My Soul Mate ... someday (if I ever calm down long enough to get married) these will be my women of honor, because they are everyday.
My Wife and My Bestest of Best ... we've been friends since Kindergarten :) 17 years going on forever.
Team Sanassa :) Best Friends always fight crime together :) gotta love friends who will drive two hours just for a Friday night because you're having a bad week. They rock.
The BSC. The amazing women that had me from hello at college :) We might not always be together, but when we are ... watch out :)
My "Boyfriends" The boys who loved me in glasses and braces just as much as they love me all grown up. They are each individually a great love of my life.
My friends ... I am so lucky. I am so very blessed to have friends from every place my life has taken me. Childhood friends, Home friends, College friends, Girlfriends, Boyfriends, Family Friends ... my lucky list goes on. I hate that we all can't be in the same spot at once, but when we are together we make up for the distance. I found a quote that sums our relationship up:
“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”
Yep ... those are my friends ... the wonderful people I've been blessed to share my life with ... here they all are :)
My First Friend ... My Best Friend ... My Mommy. I owe everything I am to her. I love you.
My Favorite and My Soul Mate ... someday (if I ever calm down long enough to get married) these will be my women of honor, because they are everyday.
My Wife and My Bestest of Best ... we've been friends since Kindergarten :) 17 years going on forever.
Team Sanassa :) Best Friends always fight crime together :) gotta love friends who will drive two hours just for a Friday night because you're having a bad week. They rock.
The BSC. The amazing women that had me from hello at college :) We might not always be together, but when we are ... watch out :)
My "Boyfriends" The boys who loved me in glasses and braces just as much as they love me all grown up. They are each individually a great love of my life.
The women of Randolph Beach ... they took a chance on me when I came into the group late ... I'll always be thankful to them for that.
Finally ... My Best Friend ... My One True Love. Can't you tell how in love we are here? :) A man that can stick out a long distance relationship, basically from the start, is a man I want to be with. And one that still has something to say to me at the end of a long day, that's a best friend I want forever.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Whew ... day from hell ... and you?
“Maybe you don't like your job, maybe you didn't get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there's no escape, there's no excuse, so just suck up and be nice.” ~ Ani Difranco
Day 8: A place you traveled to
Today I feel like the above quote even though I love the idea of my job, I got plenty of sleep, and I suppose it wasn't the worse day of my life. When I say I love the idea of my job I mean that subbing most often sucks, but I know it will eventually lead to teaching and I long to teach. Teaching is my passion and so I will really do whatever it takes to get there. I went to bed early last night to take care of the sleep and I've had family pass away which didn't happen today, so not the worst day ever. But today ... wow ... sucky. I read this quote and I thought ok, she's right I have to suck it up, move one, and be nice (which I most certainly was not being). Then I sat down to blog and realized today's was travel and I got more irritated because by most people's standards I haven't been anywhere. I've never been out of the country and I haven't really been to a lot of places outside Ohio. But taking this quote in stride I realized this is ok. Someday when I get the real job I'm striving for and the real life that comes with it ... then yeah I'll travel. I'll go lots of places and have lots of experience. Until then (and to make my day happier as only old pictures can do) I will relive the times I have left good old Ohio. Most of these experiences are due to my best friend Breezy who moved away to school and thereby made me a traveler (at least to the south) :) enjoy.
My Breezy Lee ... this is in Tampa after a night out on the Tampa town with sister Rayne and the box car ... one of my best college freshmen memories
Me, the Breezy, and Goat Goat on the gator on the farm in Atlanta ... not my first time in Atlanta but the other time dealt with hospitals and that was about all I saw ... this time I got shown Atlanta in all of its beauty with the horses :)
Back in Atlanta for Sister Rayne's wedding. Nicoda Joe, Me, and Breezy Lee ... this was one hell of a trip :) wedding's always are ... right Breeze?
And my final trip with my best ... Las Vegas :) Yep they let us loose in Vegas and you can guess what happened next :)
So, I'll be happy with all the experience I have gotten and one day when I get the others I'll be thankful for those too. Have a good one guys and remember even if you aren't just suck it up and be nice :)
oh and p.s. I'll be absent for a few days ... I'm finally getting my weekend away :) try and not miss me too much.
Day 8: A place you traveled to
Today I feel like the above quote even though I love the idea of my job, I got plenty of sleep, and I suppose it wasn't the worse day of my life. When I say I love the idea of my job I mean that subbing most often sucks, but I know it will eventually lead to teaching and I long to teach. Teaching is my passion and so I will really do whatever it takes to get there. I went to bed early last night to take care of the sleep and I've had family pass away which didn't happen today, so not the worst day ever. But today ... wow ... sucky. I read this quote and I thought ok, she's right I have to suck it up, move one, and be nice (which I most certainly was not being). Then I sat down to blog and realized today's was travel and I got more irritated because by most people's standards I haven't been anywhere. I've never been out of the country and I haven't really been to a lot of places outside Ohio. But taking this quote in stride I realized this is ok. Someday when I get the real job I'm striving for and the real life that comes with it ... then yeah I'll travel. I'll go lots of places and have lots of experience. Until then (and to make my day happier as only old pictures can do) I will relive the times I have left good old Ohio. Most of these experiences are due to my best friend Breezy who moved away to school and thereby made me a traveler (at least to the south) :) enjoy.
My Breezy Lee ... this is in Tampa after a night out on the Tampa town with sister Rayne and the box car ... one of my best college freshmen memories
Me, the Breezy, and Goat Goat on the gator on the farm in Atlanta ... not my first time in Atlanta but the other time dealt with hospitals and that was about all I saw ... this time I got shown Atlanta in all of its beauty with the horses :)
Back in Atlanta for Sister Rayne's wedding. Nicoda Joe, Me, and Breezy Lee ... this was one hell of a trip :) wedding's always are ... right Breeze?
And my final trip with my best ... Las Vegas :) Yep they let us loose in Vegas and you can guess what happened next :)
So, I'll be happy with all the experience I have gotten and one day when I get the others I'll be thankful for those too. Have a good one guys and remember even if you aren't just suck it up and be nice :)
oh and p.s. I'll be absent for a few days ... I'm finally getting my weekend away :) try and not miss me too much.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
“Fantasies are more than substitutes for unpleasant reality; they are also dress rehearsals, plans. All acts performed in the world begin in the imagination.” ~ Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
Day 7: Your Favorite Movies
I love movies. It's a sickness. Movies and t.v. ... t.v. and movies ... I could settle in for days with movies and bad t.v. and never want for anything else. I grew up with brothers, so I have that side of being a guy's girl in me, meaning that of course I love a great action movie or an interesting thriller movie and I adore the raunchy comedies out there (i.e. Wedding Crashers, Old School, Dodgeball, Semi-Pro, Dude Where's My Car, the Fridays, Van Wilder, SuperBad,Dazed and Confused, Animal House, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) anything really that can make me laugh until I cry. I have an addiction to Christmas movies and could watch them in July. They make me happy and think back to the holiday I love the most. The English teacher side of me must see any movie made based on a book. I must read the book first and then see the movie to prove to myself (and it is always true) that books are always better than movies. However, I love a lot of the Nicholas Sparks and James Patterson books turned movies, and would be content with a movie marathon comprised of them for a couple days. I am terrified of horror movies. It doesn't matter how bad they are and if they're completely unrealistic, I am still horrified by them, which ultimately is the point ... right? Either way I am an adult who can't sleep alone in the dark, so adding a scary movie into that equation never works. With that said, when Scott took me on our first date he picked a scary movie (The Hills Have Eyes) and I would never want to take that experience back even though I never want to see that movie again. Movies that really get me, though, are the traditional chick flicks. I love romantic comedies. I even love romantic movies that don't end in the happiest ways. I'm not the type of girl who needs a lot of romance in my actual relationship, but I really like to fantasize about romance and how it works for the people in movies and books. I love it all from the love stuff that seems so real to the cheesiest stuff that is most clearly set up ... it all gets me and makes me smile. It takes me away from real life for a minute and lets me fantasize about how life can be great in a fantastical way. I love that outlet. I love that for a little while I can dream about happiness, smiles, and love that always works. Of course I always come back to reality and when I look at everything I have I'm glad that reality is always where I end up.
Some of my favorite movies that remove me from reality are:
How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, The Notebook, The Proposal, Sex and The City, Runaway Bride, and many many more. I could sit and watch movies like this all day, but my absolute favorite two are:
Love & Basketball: I mean who doesn't want to have someone tell them, "I've loved you since you were eleven and the shit won't go away." How sweet is that? How beautiful is it to know that someone has cared about you for almost their entire lives? When I day dream I always to immediately to that fantasy.
And my ultimate favorite movie ... the big winner is:
Yep ... Pretty Woman. It has been my all time favorite movie since the day I saw it when I was ten. I even had my prom dress designed in the likeness of this dress. Now, I will say I love Julia Roberts so that helps my love of the movie, but ultimately I adore it because Vivien is no pushover but she still gets the fairytale. And I think that if a girl wants the fairytale ... then she should get it. The best part of this movie though is the fact that it isn't just the girl letting someone rescue her. When Edward goes to get Vivien back he says, "So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?" and Vivien says, "She rescues him right back." This proves that fairytales come true everyday, but the best ones are where both people get saved.
I love movies. It's a sickness. Movies and t.v. ... t.v. and movies ... I could settle in for days with movies and bad t.v. and never want for anything else. I grew up with brothers, so I have that side of being a guy's girl in me, meaning that of course I love a great action movie or an interesting thriller movie and I adore the raunchy comedies out there (i.e. Wedding Crashers, Old School, Dodgeball, Semi-Pro, Dude Where's My Car, the Fridays, Van Wilder, SuperBad,Dazed and Confused, Animal House, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) anything really that can make me laugh until I cry. I have an addiction to Christmas movies and could watch them in July. They make me happy and think back to the holiday I love the most. The English teacher side of me must see any movie made based on a book. I must read the book first and then see the movie to prove to myself (and it is always true) that books are always better than movies. However, I love a lot of the Nicholas Sparks and James Patterson books turned movies, and would be content with a movie marathon comprised of them for a couple days. I am terrified of horror movies. It doesn't matter how bad they are and if they're completely unrealistic, I am still horrified by them, which ultimately is the point ... right? Either way I am an adult who can't sleep alone in the dark, so adding a scary movie into that equation never works. With that said, when Scott took me on our first date he picked a scary movie (The Hills Have Eyes) and I would never want to take that experience back even though I never want to see that movie again. Movies that really get me, though, are the traditional chick flicks. I love romantic comedies. I even love romantic movies that don't end in the happiest ways. I'm not the type of girl who needs a lot of romance in my actual relationship, but I really like to fantasize about romance and how it works for the people in movies and books. I love it all from the love stuff that seems so real to the cheesiest stuff that is most clearly set up ... it all gets me and makes me smile. It takes me away from real life for a minute and lets me fantasize about how life can be great in a fantastical way. I love that outlet. I love that for a little while I can dream about happiness, smiles, and love that always works. Of course I always come back to reality and when I look at everything I have I'm glad that reality is always where I end up.
Some of my favorite movies that remove me from reality are:
How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, The Notebook, The Proposal, Sex and The City, Runaway Bride, and many many more. I could sit and watch movies like this all day, but my absolute favorite two are:
Love & Basketball: I mean who doesn't want to have someone tell them, "I've loved you since you were eleven and the shit won't go away." How sweet is that? How beautiful is it to know that someone has cared about you for almost their entire lives? When I day dream I always to immediately to that fantasy.
And my ultimate favorite movie ... the big winner is:
Yep ... Pretty Woman. It has been my all time favorite movie since the day I saw it when I was ten. I even had my prom dress designed in the likeness of this dress. Now, I will say I love Julia Roberts so that helps my love of the movie, but ultimately I adore it because Vivien is no pushover but she still gets the fairytale. And I think that if a girl wants the fairytale ... then she should get it. The best part of this movie though is the fact that it isn't just the girl letting someone rescue her. When Edward goes to get Vivien back he says, "So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?" and Vivien says, "She rescues him right back." This proves that fairytales come true everyday, but the best ones are where both people get saved.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
“We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” ~Frederick Keonig
Day 6: A Picture of Something that Makes you Happy
They want me to put up "A" picture of something that makes me happy? Just one? Most of my pictures make me happy ... in fact when I have bad days sometimes all I have to do is put on a slideshow of my pictures and I perk right up. But they want me to pick just one ... hmmm ... I've always liked being in charge of myself so I say to hell with the one picture thing and I'm going to show you all the things that make me happy.
The fact that all these wonderful people showed up to my graduation ... what makes it even better is that half of them couldn't even go to the ceremony, but they came anyways and stayed to tell me congratulations. I have the best people in my life.
The BSC (yeah in case you didn't realize that's the formation we're in here) These are the women I fell for the instant I stepped onto campus and the ones who saved my life every day of the four years I spent there. They say you go to college to find your true friends ... I got that and I'm so blessed to know these women.
My mom took the time to make all these shirts with my face on them just to show me how much people love and support me. :) this was the ultimate graduation surprise.
My babies. My Gunner Man (horse) and My Dalton Monster (puppy) While they are a lot of work, I couldn't imagine not having them in my life.
The Team Sanassa Three Way Hug. Friends who stick by you through four years of college, putting you in a long distance relationship, are the only kinds of friends worth having.
What I get to come home to <3
I could include so many more things in the "what makes me happy category" since things like snow and coffee and singing in the car and purple and my king-sized bed make me happy, but I'll stop at the major uppers I've already included.
I'm so glad that day 6 was things that make me happy, because I needed this today. I needed to be reminded that not only do I have so many things that make me happy, but that I am constantly surrounded by these things. I am blessed to have these people and this happiness in my life and I am thankful to have this reminder today.
They want me to put up "A" picture of something that makes me happy? Just one? Most of my pictures make me happy ... in fact when I have bad days sometimes all I have to do is put on a slideshow of my pictures and I perk right up. But they want me to pick just one ... hmmm ... I've always liked being in charge of myself so I say to hell with the one picture thing and I'm going to show you all the things that make me happy.
The fact that all these wonderful people showed up to my graduation ... what makes it even better is that half of them couldn't even go to the ceremony, but they came anyways and stayed to tell me congratulations. I have the best people in my life.
The BSC (yeah in case you didn't realize that's the formation we're in here) These are the women I fell for the instant I stepped onto campus and the ones who saved my life every day of the four years I spent there. They say you go to college to find your true friends ... I got that and I'm so blessed to know these women.
My mom took the time to make all these shirts with my face on them just to show me how much people love and support me. :) this was the ultimate graduation surprise.
My babies. My Gunner Man (horse) and My Dalton Monster (puppy) While they are a lot of work, I couldn't imagine not having them in my life.
The Team Sanassa Three Way Hug. Friends who stick by you through four years of college, putting you in a long distance relationship, are the only kinds of friends worth having.
What I get to come home to <3
I could include so many more things in the "what makes me happy category" since things like snow and coffee and singing in the car and purple and my king-sized bed make me happy, but I'll stop at the major uppers I've already included.
I'm so glad that day 6 was things that make me happy, because I needed this today. I needed to be reminded that not only do I have so many things that make me happy, but that I am constantly surrounded by these things. I am blessed to have these people and this happiness in my life and I am thankful to have this reminder today.
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