Friday, January 28, 2011

“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” ~ Walter Bagehot

DAY 2: The meaning behind your blog name

It's kind of self-explanatory isn't it? Here I am ... a college graduate and I don't have an actual job.  Not only do I not have an actual job, but because of the amount I'm paying into school loans every month I also moved home. This is reality. This is not some movie or t.v. show where after college every student gets the job of their dreams, the house of their dreams, and the life of their dreams ... c'mon ... did you honestly think that would happen? Clearly Not. I'm here to show and tell you ... this is how it is. More often than not (I can't say always because I have some of those perky annoying friends who got the job, got the guy, got the life ... bitches ... but I love you anyways) this is what happens: you work your ass off in school (not to say that I didn't take those occasional nights and days off to be a college student ... I had fun, but I still worked hard), then you graduate without finding a job (or finding a job you don't like but are forced to take), then you have to move home because of loan payments (and the payments are absurd ... college really is an expensive party), and then you take a look at your life and you realize you ARE HUGELY DISAPPOINTED with yourself and your circumstances. And the only word that comes to mind when you hit this inevitable points I'm sorry to say is Shit. Because there's nothing you can do about the past and the present is stagnant and the future seems impossible ... shit ... now what do I do. And here's what you do: 1. cry 2. bitch 3.bitch to anyone who will listen 4. bitch about no one caring when no one wants to listen to you complain anymore 5. take your emotions out on whoever is standing in front of you at the time 6. realize you'll have no friends anymore if you don't shape up 7. pretend to be positive so people can stand to be around you once again 8. self-loathe without anyone knowing you're doing it 9. tell everyone you're fine and 10. start a blog, because you're most obviously not fine and there's nothing else to do about it. This is real people. I'm not going to sugar coat it for you. Currently, 1.9 million college graduates of last year are still trying to find a freaking job and of the ones who did find a job only 15% of them are working in the area they went to school for. These are not good odds. Now ... cue the inspirational music and the speaker telling you "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain" ... because this is what I'm trying to do. Granted, I'm not the most positive person and I tend to focus on negative aspects, I really am trying to "learn" to dance in the rain. But damn it is hard to do. I want to teach ... it's not just about the having a job and life part ... it's about doing what I was born to do. I love teaching. Teaching is my passion. So dancing in the rain of not being able to partake in the profession I adore is a little difficult, but I am trying. That should count for something right? This is real. This is what it is like to struggle with being disappointed in your life and some days ... yourself. This is what it is like to make an active step to being positive ... to "dancing in the rain." So, here we go ... I can't promise you this ride into the adult life that comes after college will be fun and pretty and happy, but I can promise you it will be real.

1 comment:

  1. "I have some of those perky annoying friends who got the job, got the guy, got the life ... bitches ... but I love you anyways"


    Girl. Listen. I was exactly where you are no less than TWO YEARS AGO. I moved back in with my parents twice to be exact because I did get a job after college, but once my school loans hit I had to move back home too. Don't worry with it, it's just a chapter in your life right now. I promise as sucky as it is sometimes its not fun being the 'woman of the house' to a husband who's always hungry, dogs who are always annoying and trying to keep up with work and the bit of social life you have. Sometimes I visit my parents and plop down on my old bed and wish I was in my old room again!

    With that rant out there, I can't wait to see where life takes you and follow along on your journey with you! :)